You are not going out dressed like that surely?

Confession

2010-05-12T21:14:00.002+01:00

It has been several months since my last posting. I doubt I even have anyone following this any more. So it is decision time, do I a) Start posting again now that I have a lot more time on my hands or b) Delete the blog.

Just to let you know that .....

2009-07-19T21:32:00.002+01:00

I am still alive, so many things have happened that have kept me from posting. I now work for a new company after my last company lost the contract for the lease of the shop at the University so things are manic there as we learn new systems etc. I am still not smoking it has now been just over six months since I had a smoke. Anyways this was just a quick post to say all is well and I will try to stay on top of this but don't hold me to it.

Because I ...

2009-03-10T19:03:00.002Z

Don't have enough going on what with work, my blog, facebook, my art and anything else that I happen to be involved with I have now decided to sign up to Twitter. As you can see from my sidebar I even have a widget installed here already. So if you are on Twitter and want to follow me well you know what to do.

8 Weeks

2009-03-05T12:48:00.001Z

It has now been 8 weeks since I last smoked a cigarette, so am over the moon with this achievement. I have been using nicotine replacement patches which has helped and I have gone through every permutation of where I may of wanted a cigarette and come through each test. So I am patting myself on the back at finally having conquered the habit. Only thing is now I have an addiction to Chocolate Digestives!

Quick update

2009-02-26T15:10:00.001Z

Work is absolutely manic at the moment as I am running the shop on my own as my colleague is off ill and our senior member of staff is on holiday. So I am well and truly knackered. Roll on the weekend is all I say.

Rising from the Ashes

2009-02-15T11:20:00.001Z

It is time I started paying more attention to this blogging lark so with that effect I will endeavour to post to it more often in the future. So what have I been doing since the last post? Well to be honest not a lot. I got rid of my desktop computer just before Christmas and replaced it with a Sony Vaio Laptop, Christmas and New Year were quiet affairs (well as quiet as they can be when copious amounts of Alcohol are involved). I have recently taken up drawing and painting again so that has been keeping me busy.

So like a phoenix rising from the ashes this blog is again live and operative.

Just to let everyone know that....

2008-11-05T17:02:00.002Z

I am still alive, I got back from Puerto Vallarta in Mexico just over a week ago and since then it has been non stop since I returned to work. I had a fab time on holiday pics and a short report to follow at the weekend when I have a bit more time.

Only 23 days .....

2008-09-18T16:25:00.002+01:00

To go until I go on holiday to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico!! I can not wait as by the time it comes round it will have been 8 months since I have had more than 2 days off from work. I am well and truly shattered and that is one of the main reasons why I have not been blogging of late. I have had my vaccinations for my trip (thanks for the injections in both arms leaving me in quite a bit of pain for a week) and today the flight tickets and other travel documents arrived. I am really looking forward to this trip as it is 13 years since I last went to Mexico. This time we are staying in an adults only hotel so will not have to suffer hoardes of screaming kids, though I will miss the sport of putting my leg out when the little bastards are running riot and tripping them up, but hey ho we can't have everything now can we?

Well that's it for today off now to have a nervous breakdown as I try and decide what to pack for this trip.

Back

2008-09-10T20:20:00.002+01:00

Sorry for the nearly 3 month wait between posts I just have not been in the mood to write anything really, in fact I have not been in the mood for much of anything. Anyway enough of that, I am back! Not really been up to much, I turned 35 in July and also went to see Kylie's X2008 tour at the o2 Arena in London which was awesome. Anyways will post more soon.

Well what can I say?

2008-06-17T15:54:00.002+01:00

I was just stood in my kitchen making a coffee, and I happened to glance out the window as you do and WHAT DID I SEE? There is a man outside jet washing people's wheelie bins!!!!! I mean for f**k sake what's all that about? Fair play to him though as it probably earns him a few quid. Now I know Godalming is meant to be quite a posh town but has it really got to the point now where the residents are employing someone to clean their dustbins. I can honestly say I have truly seen it all now.

Yay it's....

2008-05-28T19:24:00.002+01:00

Payday I have money in my bank account again, though for how long is a different matter once I have paid the bills etc. Also today is the fabulous Miss Minogues 40th birthday so happy birthday Kylie.

Britain's got Talent

2008-05-27T16:35:00.002+01:00

I've been watching the above mentioned show recently, so far we have had the audition shows and last night was the first live semi final. For those that do not know it is a talent search with the prize being able to perform in front of Prince Charles at this years Royal Variety Performance. The video below is of one of the favourites to win a Dance duo called Signature these guys are just awesome.

Im back...

2008-05-24T13:22:00.002+01:00

Sorry for the break in posting but just haven't really felt like it over the past couple of weeks (see previous post). So what have I been up to? Well apart from work not a lot really. Yesterday was the last day of the summer term at Surrey Uni, so I had the pleasure of going into work this morning to face the destruction left by the end of semester party which luckily this year wasnt as bad as pervious years. Though I was walking through the campus as 5.50am this morning en route to the shop when I saw this thing walking towards me, I say thing because in my still sleep fuddled state I couldn't quite work out whether or not it was male or female all I can say is OH MY GOD!!! He (on closer inspection it was male) had bright green and yellow eye make up on,one flourescent green stocking one flourescent yellow stocking and black shorts!! Well what did I do? Well I couldn't help myself I burst out laughing. If only I had managed to take a picture.

Sad news...

2008-05-06T11:36:00.002+01:00

My beloved grandmother passed away on the 25th April, so as you can understand there has been a lack of blogging of late as I come to terms with her passing. It was all very sudden and the whole family is still in a state of shock. I am coping as well as can be expected, have thrown myself into work to keep myself busy. To be honest I really do not think she would want us to mope about as she wasn't that sort of person herself.

Thought for the day!

2008-04-23T09:07:00.001+01:00

Some people are like slinkies - Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs!

Quick!! Quick!!!

2008-04-22T12:17:00.002+01:00

The sun is out!! So everyone outside and make the most of it because I am sure this is the only time we will see the sun this year, so summer is here even if it is only for one day and yes I do know that technically it is still spring.

In other news, are you all sitting down? For our second holiday of the year we are NOT and I repeat NOT going to Lanzarote. Now that you have all picked yourselves up off the floor from the shock I can tell you that we are going to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico, I went there in 1995 and I have been wanting to go back ever since. It actually works out cheaper than 2 weeks in Lanzarote. So I am quite excited about this holiday, it is not until October but I know the time will soon fly by.

A genuine complaint

2008-04-20T13:32:00.000+01:00

Supposedly a true email, if not it still made me laugh.

MRS Campbell
West Cromwell St
Lieth, Scotland

Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service, teaboy,

Having spent the past twenty five minutes waiting for someone at Leith police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Leith by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.

As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you would call them youths) in West Cromwell Street which is just off Commercial Street in Leith. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in it's third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon this year.

The remaining five walking abortions, are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie trash bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it's side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.

Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating my kitchen at considerable expense.

What I suggest is this. after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when these mutants are not around, then drive up the street in a police car before doing a three point turn and then disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain sir, your obedient servant

?????????

Reply from Leith Constabulary

Dear Madam,

I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards

PC ??? Your Community Beat Officer

Dear PC ??? & Community Beat Officer

First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail. I made it 16 hours and 38 minutes, must be a personal record for Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book of Guinness world records.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it's own community beat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills.

In

the five or so years I have lived in West Cromwell Street, I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Albert Dock.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on ??? ????. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar.

Regards

???????

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department.

Ok ok.....

2008-04-11T18:57:00.002+01:00

Where have the last two weeks gone? I can honestly say it only seems like a couple of days ago that I last posted to my blog. I can't even blame work because even though it has been fairly busy it is not it's usual chaotic madness. So what has been keeping me away you ask? My answer is quite simple really, I have been having a complete blast playing Viking: Battle of Asgard on my XBox 360, though I have now come to a difficult stage in the 2nd phase of the game and I have tried for a couple of days to get through it but at the moment it seems impossible, but my mission this weekend is to get through it before I go to work on Monday morning.

Boys and their toys.

2008-03-30T12:03:00.002+01:00

Now those of you who are regulare readers will be aware tha over the past 15 months or so himself and I have been acquiring various pieces of electronic gadgetry. These all now reside in a small corner in my lounge with the addition of a Technics Stereo that has been in voluntary retirement in the spare bedroom. The stereo has now been dragged kicking and screaming into the lounge where it now is now happily playing with all the other gadgets. As you can see by the picture I need to sort out all the wires and leads, which was going to be a job for this weekend but I have done my back in and the last thing I need to be doing is to be huddled up behind the tv.

On going the whole hog.

2008-03-16T16:44:00.002Z

Greetings world! Yes I am back, sorry not posted but just have not had the time, work has been totally crazy then I had my two week winter vacation. Anyway what has happened? Well not a lot really, though last weekend we decided to buy an XBox 360 Elite, so that now means that we have all 3 major gaming consoles. So we both have been busy playing that as you can see my Xbox gamertag is now on this site, now I will freely admit that I am not very good at some of the games but seeing as I have never really been a gamer this is understandable, though I am getting better with practice. I am totally addicted to Halo 3 at the moment but playing it in the easy mode to start with. I will endeavour to post more often in the coming weeks as have a holiday report to write.

Well hello..

2008-01-29T11:06:00.000Z

Sorry it has been a bit quiet on the old blogging front of late. It has just that I seem to suffering a bit with the January blues and not really been in the mood for anything really. Anyway that seems to be passing now so will bring you upto speed with the goings on around here. My last post was about the heating going kaput well it was fixed, that is until yesterday morning when just a week after being repaired it went wrong again, so we are back to sharing the flat with a couple of penguins and the odd polar bear who have moved in saying it is colder here than it is at the poles. Hopefully the will be moving back out tomorrow when the heating is meant (and i used the term meant lightly) to be repaired.

In other news I had a job interview on Saturday afternoon for the Fresh Food Manager position at my local Sainsbury's supermarket. It is a job I can easily do but not sure how well I did as the interview was held after I had done a full days work at my current job and I was completely shattered, so I wait in hope of a phone call or a letter saying yes or no.

My winter holiday is just around the corner now and I am getting excited about that, it feels ages since my last break even though it was only last August. I know I had a week off work over Christmas and New Year but it is not the same being at home as to actually getting away abroad.

Anyway best sign off, the polar bear is hogging the playstsation and the penguins are getting a bit fractious as they want a go.

Living in an Igloo

2008-01-16T17:03:00.000Z

The boiler has gone up the fucking swanney, so not only do we not have any hot water we also do not have any heating. It is like a sodding Igloo in here and I have only been home an hour or so and already my feet and my hands are numb. It is colder than a witches tit in here. So I phoned up British Gas as we have one of their Home Care agreements where we pay so much a month and if the bolier goes wrong they come out and fix it and guess what the earliest they can get here is Monday!!!!! What is the point of having a 24 hour a day 365 days a year phone number to call, if they dont have repair crews working 24/7 either? Luckily Stu's mum just lives around the corner so at least we can go their to shower/bath etc, god only knows what we would do if she didn't live in the same village as us. Needless to say I am very pissed off, oh and did I mention I am cold.

A bit of viewing pleasure

2008-01-03T15:49:00.000Z

As I am at a loss as to what to blog about today I decided to have a bit of a Kylie moment below are a few videos of the Aussie songstress the first 4 are from Jools Hollands annual new years eve show of which Kylie was a guest and the others are from the Kylie show that was screened in November prior to the launch of her new album.

2008-01-03T15:48:00.000Z

2008-01-03T15:42:00.001Z

2008-01-03T15:38:00.001Z

2008-01-03T15:37:00.001Z

2008-01-03T15:33:00.000Z

2008-01-03T15:31:00.000Z

2008-01-03T15:26:00.000Z

Hello 2008!!!

2008-01-01T17:29:00.000Z

Well here we are a brand new year, I have to say that I am looking forward to my holiday in just over 6 weeks, even though I have just had the last 11 days off work it is not the same as going abroad. New Years Eve here was a very drunken affair I finally admitted defeat at about 3am this morning and headed off to bed and then slept for 11 hours solid and woke up with no hangover so that was a bonus. I have made one resolution for 2008 and that is to give up smoking, I have a few packets left from the duty free that was brought over for me in December so as soon as they have gone I am going to attempt to kick the filthy habit so wish me luck.

Just to wish....

2007-12-31T20:17:00.000Z

Everyone a fantastic new year!! See you in 2008

Made it through the other side...

2007-12-28T14:57:00.000Z

That is it Christmas is done, finished and dusted for another year, much was consumed and drank as is often the case with time of year, though I managed to wake up on Boxing Day morning without a hangover which considering the amount I imbibed was a result. Now all I need to do is get New Years Eve out of the way then I can concentrate on my 2 week holiday in February. Not really doing anything special for New Year just having a few friends over which will probably mean a bowling tournament on the Nintendo Wii. So I best get some practice in.

While I am still sober...

2007-12-25T11:39:00.000Z

And can still focus on the keyboard, may I take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. Right I'm ready to attack the lake of alcohol we have.

Last night....

2007-12-23T14:13:00.000Z

I took my mum to the London Palladium to see Connie Fisher in The Sound Of Music, now my mum had no idea what I was taking her to see, I am sure was convinced that we were off to see Cabaret so as we stepped out of Oxford Circus tube station and onto Argyll Street and the theatre came into view her face lit up, this for me was great as my mum does not often get time out to herself as she is the primary carer of my 27 year old brother who has severe epilepsy and other problems to numerous to go into. So a night out is a rare treat indeed let alone a night out at what is probably London's top show. We both had a great night the show was absolutely amazing and I was still back in time for a couple of beers in my local pub.

Woo hoo....

2007-12-21T19:14:00.000Z

As of 4pm this afternoon I am now officially off work until the 2nd January 2008!!! I may bitch about my job but isn't great to work in the one convenience store in the world that closes for the entire christmas and new year period. So now let the drinking and merriment commence.

One more week to go...

2007-12-18T18:13:00.000Z

And all this Christmas bollocks will be over and done with. I really can not be arsed with it, it is nothing but a commercial waste of time, I am sure that the only people who actually enjoy this time of year are the CEO's of retail companies and credit card bosses. I haven't been in this time of year for a long time now for a couple of reasons one is I had ten barrels kicked out of me by my then partner (don't worry I did have my revenge). Then another year at Christmas I was left homeless and jobless. So as you can see christmas brings back some painful memories. Though to be fair the past 5 Christmas's with Stu have been great and this year looks like it is going to be a good one to. I just really can not be doing with it.

It says something...

2007-12-10T21:05:00.000Z

When the first christmas card you receive in the post is from your local Indian restaurant. I am not joking here, last thursday in the post Stu received a card from afore mentioned establishment now he only goes there maybe 5 times a year maximum, so it got me thinking surely I should get cards from the local fish and chip shop as im in there at least once a fortnight and from the the pizza place because I use them quite a lot to.

Posts will be a bit sporadic this month as work is pretty manic but after Friday that will change as it is the last day of the semester at the Uni. Still have not got round to putting the christmas tree up yet though I hope to accomplish that this weekend.

You know you are a big kid.....

2007-12-02T14:57:00.000Z

When you buy Lego Star Wars the Complete Saga for your playstation 3 and you can't stop playing it, basically the game is the entire 6 Star Wars films and all the characters are lego, now I am not very good at some of the games we have got but I find this one very easy to play but then it is aimed at kids so that is probably why. Hey it keeps me entertained and quiet so that is the main thing.

In other news, on Friday I received an email informing me that I had the chance to able to buy advance tickets for Kylie's tour in 2008 before they go on sale tomorrow morning. So as soon as I got in from work yesterday I purchased two tickets to her London show which will be held at the O2 Arena (formally the millenium dome).I can't wait to see this show because if it is half as good as her Showgirl tour it will be a great night out.

It's here.....

2007-11-27T12:06:00.000Z

Yesterday when I got home from work there was a package from Play.com awaiting me. I immediately tore it open and into my sticky mitts fell X the new album from Miss Kylie Minogue. Now I will freely admit that I am a huge fan of hers and have been waiting for this album since its release date was announced. It went straight into the CD player and I have to say I am not dissapointed by it at all. Still have not decided which are my favourite tracks yet but I am sure it wont be long until I have come to that decision.

Home alone...

2007-11-20T16:17:00.000Z

Yes you read that right I have been left home alone!!! The other half is away for the next 2 nights and I am here on my own. I can not say that I am particularly looking forward to this, as it is very rare that we are not under the same roof for any length of time, but I am going to use the time wisely to listen to music and get a go on the playstation. I am not even going to attempt to cook because when I do I burn things so its pizza and the chippy for me.

It's the weekend and....

2007-11-16T18:26:00.000Z

I won't be going to the pub. For the simple reason that I have to work all weekend and I really can not face going in with a hangover. I am finding as I am getting older the recovery time is a lot longer and I can not be dealing with being at work and feeling like death warmed up.

Day 1 of the 8 work days in a row down, 7 more to go.

Today is one...

2007-11-14T14:06:00.000Z

Of those days where I really can not be bothered to do anything. There is a tonne of things that I could be doing but I just do not have the motivation to do them. As today is my day off I should really be doing something constructive with it. Oh well I am off tomorrow to so I will do it all then.

What do I do?

2007-11-13T11:41:00.000Z

This morning when I opened my email I found one from the company I had the interview with the other week inviting me to a 2nd interview a week this coming Friday. I really do not know what to do about it. Firstly because come 4pm on the 23rd when the interview is to be held I will have just completed 8 straight days of early morning starts without a day off in between and I will not only be physically shattered but mentally drained as well, and I just know I will not be in the right frame of mind to face the sort of questions that will be asked for a management role. Secondly I am not actually sure that I want the job anymore. I think I am going to have to give this a lot of consideration over the next couple of days before I decide what to do.

It is Monday and...

2007-11-12T11:44:00.000Z

I am really not looking forward to work today for the simple reason that I am on the 2pm - 10pm shift, luckily though I only have 2 of them this week rather than the usual 3, because instead of having Thursday and Friday as my days off this week I am off Wednesday and Thursday instead. So I really shouldn't complain.

In other news my Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix DVD arrived in the post this morning, now as I didn't get to see this in the cinema I am looking forward to seeing it. Also after watching the Kylie Show on ITV1 on Saturday night I am no eagerly awaiting my copy of her new cd X to drop on the doormat.

Lest we forget..

2007-11-11T11:20:00.001Z

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae
Written in Flanders on May 3, 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.

Today I am having a.....

2007-11-11T11:07:00.000Z

Very lazy Sunday, the weather is absolutely vile out, nothing quite beats just pottering about on a Sunday. I had a cracking night out in the pub last night with my other half, his mum and two of our friends Nancy and Graham, I didn't really drink that much and certainly do not have a hangover this morning.

Today I am on a mission...

2007-11-10T13:32:00.000Z

To sort out the mess that is the small bedroom that has become a dumping ground for stuff that we no longer need or use. This room has never been used as a bedroom though at one stage it was Stu's office when he was on the road with his former job. So it is a bit of a busy day but the reward at the end of it is several well earned beers down the pub tonight.

Well all I can say is....

2007-11-09T16:09:00.000Z

Thank f**k it is Friday, after 7 straight days at work I now have the weekend off. This weekend will include catching up on a lot of sleep, tackling some of the jobs at home that I have been putting off for weeks on end, and of course having one or two (Ok a lot!!) beers.

On another note the incessant barking is back again, I really think I am going to have to contact the noise pollution guys/gals at the local council because it is getting beyond a joke now.

Could someone.....

2007-11-08T18:01:00.000Z

Please point me in the direction of my bed. I am so so tired, I really do get knackered toward the end of 7 days on the bounce at work espescially as they are all 6am starts which means I have to be up and about way before that. 95% of the time I get to leave work on time, today was one of the exceptions as the main delivery didn't turn up until 2pm so I made the decision to stay on to help put it away, I did not rush it mind and with the help of Sandra we had the majority of it away be 4.30pm, so she told me she could cope with the last bit and sent me on my way.

It has been 43 hours...

2007-11-07T16:45:00.000Z

Since the dogs have stopped their incessant barking. Now I swear to god that I have not been out there and given them steaks laced with very strong sedatives (the thought had crossed my mind but why should i waste money on good meat), perhaps someone else has beaten me to it and made the complaint. I am sure this is only a temporary cessation in the noise polution but trust me I will be making the most of it.

5 Things

2007-11-06T15:24:00.000Z

I saw this on a couple of other blogs and thought I would give it a go, basically it's a few questions that you have to give 5 answers to.

What were you doing ten years ago?

1, Recovering from my very public nervous breakdown
2, Clubbing and pubbing a lot
3, Living in Oxford
4, Ten years ago today I was in Gran Canaria
5, Working for Tesco

What were you doing one year ago?

1, Getting excited about going to see Wicked
2, Stressing out at work (nothing new there)
3, Looking forward to my winter holiday in Lanzarote
4, Feeling smug because I had done all my christmas shopping
5, Feeling sad because my best friend decided that he was going to cut all his friends out of his life at the insistence of his boyfriend

Five songs you know the lyrics to?

1, Crazy by Patsy Cline
2, Giving you up by Kylie
3, Dream a little dream by Mama Cass
4, The court of King Caracticus by Rolf Harris
5, Waterloo by Abba (come to think of it any Abba song)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire?

1, Buy my parents a bigger house
2, Buy a villa In Lanzarote
3, Donate some to charity
4, Emmigrate to Lanzarote
5, Pay off all my debts

Five bad habits?

1, Smoking
2, Not shaving as often as I should
3, Forgetting birthdays
4, Screening calls before answering them
5, Putting off going to the doctors,dentist or optician

Five things you like to do?

1, Read (would rather read a book than watch TV)
2, Going to the theatre
3, Going to the pub with my mates
4, Visiting my friends in Lanzarote
5, Listening to music

Five things you hate to do?

1, Housework
2, Getting up at the crack of dawn when it's cold outside
3, Leaving my friends in Lanzarote
4, Having to work Nights and Weekends
5, Having to go home after a cracking night out

Five things you would never wear again?

1, Cowboy boots
2, Leather trousers
3, Flourescent towelling socks
4, Baseball caps (they just do not look right on me)
5, Anything with a paisley pattern

Five favourite toys?

1, My I-pod (do not go anywhere with out it)
2, My Nokia N95
3, My Playstation 3
4, My Nintendo Wii
5, My 50" High Def Plasma TV

Well that is it hope it is ok?

Not content with....

2007-11-05T17:27:00.000Z

Just one noisy f**king hound it now seems to be talking to the other dogs in the neighbourhood, so now I have the wonderful pleasure of having to put up with about 4 of the bastard things yapping incessantly. What have the got to talk about? The price of pedigree chum? The best lamppost to pee against? Who went out of X-Factor or Strictly Come Dancing? Who knows or cares? All I know is that I fully intended to go to sleep for a few hours when I got home from work but no! Thanks to them it just was not an option. Needless to say not only am I very tired im also pretty grumpy to.

I feel another things that drive me insane rant coming on.

Would someone please

2007-11-04T17:43:00.000Z

Shut that f**king dog up, I have been sat here for the past hour and a half and all I can hear is the incessant barking of some hound in our road, now this isn't a one off it is every sodding night. I swear to god that if I actually discover which house this mutt is in I will not be responsible for my actions. I generally like dogs on the whole but this one is really getting on my nerves.

Hmmm

2007-11-03T15:21:00.000Z

It's Saturday and I want to go to the pub, but no one is about tonight. So another night in I think, not been to the pub now in 2 weeks, which is quite unheard of me really.

That time of year..

2007-11-02T12:11:00.000Z

When people (well mainly my family) start saying "What would you like for Xmas?". Now I think that I must be one of the worst people to buy for, I won't allow people to buy me clothes unless it is something specific that I want, and I also buy dvd's and cd's as they come out, so I am left with the task of trying to come up with some ideas and fast. I have a few things in mind as there are a few things I would like that I have not got round to buying yet but they are mainly dvd's and my dvd racks already hold tons of dvd's that still have the wrappers on let alone watched.

Well...

2007-11-01T11:45:00.000Z

I think it went well, was not impressed by the fact that the interviewer was not aware of my appointment with her and she kept me waiting for a further 25 minutes, for me then to find out that it was not so much of an interview more of a preliminary assessment to see if I was worthy of going through to the main interview, so it was basically going through everything again that I had already put on the online application, now if I am honest and after a decent nights sleep I am not really sure that I want this job anymore, I know I have bitched and moaned about my current job but all in all I do love the madness of it and in all fairness it is only mad for 8 months of the year. So I will give it some more thought.

Only a few hours to go.

2007-10-31T12:21:00.000Z

My interview is just over 3 hours away, am I nervous? Honestly no at the moment but I know that as it draws closer and I get to where it is being held I am going to be a bundle of nerves. I can only do my best, my suit is ready, shirt is ironed, shoes polished and I am off to get my hair cut in a few minutes. I will report back on how the interview went later today.

Wish me luck.

Holy cow!!

2007-10-30T12:53:00.000Z

Now I know this isn't earth shattering news but it is the end of October already. This month just seems to have flown by and we are now hurtling full speed towards Christmas. Ever since I turned 30 the years just seem to have flown by, we have been living in our current place now for over 4 years and yet it only seems like yesterday that we moved in. Not only that it is almost 6 months since I had my operation it just does not seem possible, is it just me or does anybody else feel that time is flying by?

Two days to go.

2007-10-29T11:08:00.000Z

To my interview and all I can say is that already the nerves are here. I have not had an interview in nearly six years and that only lasted a matter of minutes as I was head hunted for my current job and the interview was just a formality. I just hope and pray I do not bollocks it up because last week at work was hell and I really do not want to have to go through that again ever.

Apart from that not a lot has really happened, it really has just been work, work work.

A possible escape route.

2007-10-18T10:59:00.000+01:00

Well I may have a way out of the living hell that I am in at work. Yesterday afternoon I received a phone call to invite me to an interview for one of the jobs that I have applied for. This job in question would suit me right down to the ground as it is just a short work from home so no longer would I be at the mercy of South West Trains and not only that it would save me over £600 a year in travel.

Wish me luck.

The daily grind.

2007-10-15T12:09:00.000+01:00

What am I to do? I really really can not face going into work anymore, it has nothing to do with that I do not want to work, it is more to do with the fact that I can not abide the place I am working in. I am applying for jobs like mad but have not even had a call to say come in for an interview. Now this is starting to get me down. I could just hand my notice in and pray that something comes along but the last time I did that I was out of work for 6 months and the debts soon mounted up. So that really is not an option as it is supposedly easier to find a job if you are already employed than if you have been out of work for a while. The other thing is that as we are now approaching what is classed in retail as the peak trading time not many places will be looking for managers. So I guess I will have to just grin and bear it and carry on for the time being. If only i didn't have to work the 2pm - 10pm shift I would be ok. Anyways I suppose I had better start getting ready for another 8 hours of mind numbing drudgery and to face the abuse of the students at the university.

Wish me luck.

Hello world.

2007-10-09T16:09:00.000+01:00

Yes readers I am still alive, sorry not blogged recently work has just left me to knackered to even think about anything to write but here I am, so what has been happening, I here you ask? Well to be honest not a lot really, apart from work and a couple of trips to the pub, oh yes there is one thing about a week and a half ago I did 90% of my christmas shopping. Now I have perfectly good reasons for getting it out of the way so early and they are;

1, The shops are practically empty.
2, The shops still have everything in stock
3, I had the money in my bank account.

So that is it, just have one more present to buy and I have not got a clue what to get this person but I am sure I will have a flash of inspiration somepoint between now and the 25th December.

On another note I have still not heard anything on either of the two jobs I have applied for but I am not letting it get me down, and I applied for a 3rd job yesterday so fingers crossed.

Ta ta for now.

Tattoo

2007-09-30T12:14:00.000+01:00

This is the tattoo that I had done on my right shoulder when away on holiday in august. It is part of the Everton FC crest and I am very proud of it. It didn't hurt to much and the colouring is fantastic though it makes the wolf that that I have tattooed on my left shoulder look very pale in comparison.

It has started.

2007-09-24T15:27:00.000+01:00

Now on my way home from work today I popped into the shop at the end of the road to buy some essential provisions (beer and chocolate). As I rounded the corner what was before my eyes? Yes you guessed it sodding Christmas goods!! Now they have probably been on sale for a while but I have been walking round in a bit of a trance the last few weeks due to work being so manic and leaving me physically and mentally drained, but come on we still have 3 months to go before the dreaded over commercialised event. Personally I think christmas should be banned (and yes you can call me scrooge if you like). All I will get now is family and my other half asking me what I want for Christmas and to be honest I really don't know. I have DVD's from past christmas and bithdays that I haven't even watched. I have everything out of Next current season's clothes. The only thing I actually want is the new Kylie Minogue album which is released in November and you can guarantee I will have that arriving on my doorstep on the day of release. Now I did say I was not going to do presents this year, but I have already reneged on that and got my mothers christmas present, so I guess I will just let myself be herded like a sheep with the rest of the present buying population into swelling the coffers of some of the high streets leading brands.

A bit of luck.

2007-09-23T11:23:00.000+01:00

Now I have never been much of a gambler apart from doing the Lottery and chancing a couple of pounds in a slot machine in the pub, but recently I have been placing the odd bet on the horses. I admit that I do not look at form or anything like that, but yesterday when I was looking at the races on the online bookmakers website that I use I looked at each race overview and went with the horses that were fancied in each race. All together I won about £30 which for a beginner I think is quite impressive. I do place huge bets and it is just for fun really so today I think I will chance another couple of pounds and see what happens.

Last night we went out for a meal to celebrate our friend's 40th birthday we went to The Inn on the Lake in Godalming which is pub/restaurant the food was excellent the service fantastic and judging by how jaded I feel this morning the beer was great to.

In need of a new job.

2007-09-18T15:47:00.000+01:00

Now before you start thinking I have been made redundant (I can only wish), I am in fact just looking for a new job. I have several reasons for wanting to leave my current place, but mainly it is because of the shifts I am now being made to work and the fact that I have gone as far as I can with the company and I am in need of a new challenge. Sure I could go up to senior management but that would mean having to learn to drive and to be on call 24/7 to take inane calls from some of the numpty management teams that are out there. So far I have applied for one job which I would actually like as it is a short walk from home and would save me over £600 a year in travel expenses.

Now you may be wondering where I have been for the past couple of weeks? Well in truth I have been about but I just had not got round to blogging for one simple reason. That reason being Facebook, now I was nagged into joining this networking site by a friend, I didn't really want to because I had been on MySpace and did not like it at all. I have to admit though that facebook is very addictive if you let it be. So that is where I have been hiding. Also having been on the early shifts at work I have been coming home from work absolutely shattered and literally have just been fighting to stay awake.

Anyways I will promise to be more frequent with my posts in the future.

Home again

2007-09-03T15:32:00.000+01:00

Now I have been back from my holiday for a week but have only now been able to find the time to post. My holiday was great as usual and apart from a couple of days of cloudy weather it was very sunny. Visited all the usual bars and restaurants that I go to, it is handy when you go to the same place a few times because you have already worked out where the best places to eat and drink are. Though in all honesty I do not think I will go again in August and will revert back to my usual two weeks in July. As usual I took way to many clothes but hey isn't that always the way. Been back at work a week now and for the first time I do not seem to be suffering from the holiday blues, whether this is due the the fact that there was just a week to go until the students return to Uni and the shop gets a lot busier I don't know but here we are today the first day of the new semester and it has not been a bad day at all. Admittedly I do feel tired but then I always do when I am on the early starts at work. Apart from that nothing else to report.

Oh yes I forgot one minor detail of my holiday and that is I had a tattoo done on my right shoulder while out there. If I feel up to it I will post a picture of it at some point.

Off on holiday

2007-08-12T09:21:00.000+01:00

In about an hour or so I will be grabbing me suitcase and making the journey to Gatwick to wait for the plane to take me to Lanzarote, I am like a coiled spring I am that excited. I may find time to post a couple of entries while there but do not hold your breath. So just in case keep safe and be well, and I will post again soon.

Its here!!!

2007-08-10T17:01:00.000+01:00

I am now officially on holiday!!!! In less than 48 hours I will be in a plane that will be winging it's way to Lanzarote. I am just back from the hairdressers where I have had my hair cut and restyled and had my highlights re-done. I am almost packed the excitement is building and the best bit about is if the phone rings and it is work I can tell them to foxtrot oscar.

Almost there.

2007-08-04T11:11:00.000+01:00

It's almost time for my summer holiday, 8 days to go and counting I have been packed for nearly a week, my mind is no longer on work and all I can think of is being with my friends in Lanzarote who I haven't seen in nearly 7 months. The weather here has finally turned and we have had several days of great weather. So today I'm heading off to London to go for a stroll along the Thames and frequent a couple (ok a lot) of pubs along the way.

Silly email

2007-08-01T16:11:00.000+01:00

This just landed in my inbox and it was too good not to share.

Genuine written council house complaints

1) My bush is really overgrown round the front, and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and I just can't take it anymore.

3) It is the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6) And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8) My lavatory seat is cracked; where do I stand?

9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are plain filthy.

13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15) Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour & not fit to drink.

16) I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up, and its now getting too much for me.

17) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

18) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

19) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

20) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

Weather

2007-07-26T12:55:00.000+01:00

Now it is the end of July and so far we have not had a hint of summer, as I sit here and type im actually contemplating putting the heating on as I am that cold. Roll on August 12th so I can escape this rotten weather and go to a much sunnier clime if only for a couple of weeks.

Finished it..

2007-07-22T16:14:00.000+01:00

Ive done it, finished reading the final Harry Potter book, I started reading it at 2.15pm yesterday afternoon finally put it down when I could hardly keep my eyes open then finished it off as soon as I got home from this afternoon. All I can say is that it is by far the best of the books yet very dark, fast paced and twists and turns so many times with plenty of surprises. Not going to reveal anymore in case some of you haven't read it yet.

Advance warning.

2007-07-19T12:53:00.000+01:00

Well the wait is almost over Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows is released this Saturday so here is an advanced warning that as soon as I get my grubby mits on said book I will stop everything until I have read it from cover to cover. Seeing as the Half Bood Prince was finished in about 2 days I want to see if i can finish this one quicker.

Here I am.

2007-07-17T12:17:00.000+01:00

Ok so I have been a tad quiet recently, it has not been intentional it is just that with work and other things going on I have just not had time to post. So what has happened since the last post? Well last Weds 11th I turned 34, being 34 is no big deal no different to 33 really though it was weird having my birthday in the UK this year as for the last 3 years I have always been away on holiday. So what did I do for my birthday? Well to be honest not a lot really just had a few drinks at home then on Saturday I went to the dog track in Wimbledon to watch greyhound racing which I have to say was a first for me but I really enjoyed it even though I would of been better off betting on the hare. Other than that not a lot is going on really my holiday no looms so I am starting to think about what to pack and what still needs to be bought before we go. Work is still a pain getting really fed up with the 2pm-10pm shift now but hey it pays the bills so I shouldn't really grumble.

Back after a few issues

2007-07-05T18:36:00.000+01:00

Ok I know I have been quiet over the past week but I do have a very valid reason, basically my router has been playing up and only giving me intermittent internet access, so a new router and accessories have been purchased and after much aggro trying to get them installed everything is at last up and running and back to normal. Now I can stop stressing over that and start stressing that I will be 34 in 6 days time.

Silly Picture Time

2007-06-26T16:13:00.001+01:00

This picture made me laugh

Joke of the day

2007-06-25T17:28:00.001+01:00

Two Australian builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in
a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a
stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation
of the suit.

Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the
better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees
that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get
the better of the builder.

Phil: - 'Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what
you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

Phil: - Oh! What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Phil: - Er... mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?

Phil: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
then?

Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
large garden then you have a large house?

Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to
assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite
probably married?

Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with
your wife on a regular basis?

Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very
often?

Phil: - Me? Never.

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Phil: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about
your sex life!

Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Eric: - What's that then?

Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Eric: - Nope.

Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.

High Definition TV.

2007-06-22T12:58:00.000+01:00

Well what can I say? Yesterday morning the Sky TV engineer was here to upgrade our satellite box to High Definition, it is bloody amazing the picture clarity and colour is truly amazing and on programmes like the truly amazing Planet Earth it just blows you away. On another note I was meant to go to the hospital today for the follow up appointment following my operation, my alarm did not go off and I woke up at 10.45 the appointment was at 11.40 there was no way i would of made it. So I to reschedule it.

Not doing things by halves.

2007-06-19T09:46:00.000+01:00

Now on Sunday I was sat at my pc when Stu says to me do you fancy going to PC World and seeing what Playstation 3 games there are? I say yes so of we go they didn't have many games in the shop so we popped into Curry's which was next door to see if they had any there but no just a handful of titles which we already have. While we were in Curry's Stu started looking at the plasma tv's yes you guessed it we now have a Philips 50" (yes 50 inch) plasma high definition tv ensconced in our lounge. Not only that while there Stu decided to upgrade our Sky TV satellite package to HD as well and have our current satellite box relocated to the bedroom which is now where the tv is that was in the lounge. So instead of spending about 40 quid nearly 2000 was spent. I have to say though the tv is awesome and because our lounge is quite large it does not look out of place.

At a loss..

2007-06-12T11:58:00.000+01:00

I am currently at a loss of what to blog about. So talk amongst yourselves, normal service will resume shortly. Thank You.

So it starts..

2007-06-05T09:53:00.000+01:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen we have come to that time of year when for the next 13 weeks we become obsessed with the goings on in the most famous house in the UK and I am not talking Buckingham Palace here. That's right you guessed it Big Brother is back. Now it is only in the last couple of years that I have got into it and that is partly because when I was on holiday in the summer of 2005 it was on in every bar I went into. It has been on for just under a week now and already I want to shoot my TV out when certain contestants appear on screen. Some are in there because they think they will be fast tracked to fame but they should all realise that being on this show is no longer any guarantee of clebrity status, you only have to look back at previous winners to see that only one of them the winner of Big Brother 2 (2001) has etched out any sort of celebrity career and that is in free fall now, but I say good luck to them I certainly couldn't go in there with 11 complete strangers and have my every move and word watched and dissected. So I will watch this years offering but I doubt it will be as good as last years which was car crash TV at its best.

Crawling out from under a stone..

2007-05-31T15:19:00.000+01:00

Ok, ok. I know i have been slightly quiet over the past week or so. For those worried about the boiler it is now fixed. The dryer part of the washing machine is still shagged. So where have I been? Well in all honesty I have been here just really haven't bothered to post anything. I went back to work on Saturday (boo) and I have the pleasure of having the 2pm - 10pm shifts at present because these involve less work as I am still meant to be taking it easy post operation. Not a lot really to report apart from the fact that I have become sucked into the delights of playing online bingo (I know sad isn't it?). Went to theatre twice in the last week to see The Producers absolutley loved it hence why I went to see it twice. Otherwise everything is situation normal, well as normal as it can be in this household anyway.

What else?

2007-05-20T12:10:00.000+01:00

Ok as my last post was about the boiler, which has now been fixed by the way. So I put the bath towels in to wash that were used when the boiler turned into Niagara falls and turned on the drier part of the machine to discover that that has now gone for a burton.So all in all it's not been a fun week.

Oh hell.

2007-05-18T08:37:00.000+01:00

At the moment we currently have no running water in the flat. Last night when his nibs was about to get in the bath he heard a noise coming from the cupboard that houses the washing machine and the combi boiler for the heating and hot water. He opened the door to discover the boiler was leaking water, well I say leaking it was more like the boiler had delusions of granduer and was doing an impression of Niagara Falls. So we have had to turn the water off at the stop cock. This means no water for coffee!!! Anyways we phoned British Gas and immediately asked to join their Home Care scheme they phoned this morning to take the details and to make an appointment for an engineer. I was expecting them to say they couldn't make today but someone will be here by 1pm today so well done British Gas.

The waiting game.

2007-05-17T12:06:00.000+01:00

What a sodding waste of a day, I waited in all day for a delivery yesterday and it never turned up. So I phoned the company in question to be told that it would now come today, so guess what? I have to be in all day again today. Now I know I am convalescing and have the time but that is not the point. I have things I need to do, I need to get some forms from my op up to my doctors surgery but until this delivery has turned up I can not go anywhere. All I can say is it better turn up today or there will be hell to pay.

Well on the road...

2007-05-15T09:09:00.000+01:00

Well my dear readers (who am I kidding here? Hi Mum :) ). Time for a post op update. Recovering really well, I get the odd twinge now and then but apart from that I feel great. I am going to be brave today and remove the dressing from the wound. So I now have nearly two whole weeks off to do what I do what I want. Do not worry, I still will be taking things easy Stu will make sure of that. It's just a shame the weather is poor but hey it means I can catch up with a few things in the flat.

Post op.

2007-05-12T10:24:00.000+01:00

Well it's done I now have had my operation. Everything went well, I went down into theatre at about 2pm yesterday afternoon next thing I knew I was xoming round in the recovery room looking at what I thought was a clock thinking to myself why have they got a clock on the ceiling before I was conscious enough to realise it was a mark on the ceiling. I was in the recovery suite for about an hour as they had trouble getting my blood pressure back down and the pain killers they originally gave me when I woke up were having no effect at all. So after a stronger dose that had to administered through the canular still in my wrist the pain finally wore away and my blood pressure started to come down. So I was wheeled back to the ward where after about 20 mins I was allowed a coffee which was absolutley heaven as I hadn't had anything since the previous night bar a glass of council pop (water) when I woke up in the morning. After about another 20 minutes - half an hour I was allowed to get up, this was quite strange because me being me I was expecting complete use of my body so it was a bit of a shock to find that I could only shuffle along. At about 6pm Stu came to collect me and he helped me get dressed (note to self next time do not wear low waisted jeans when going in for a hernia op in your groin), and after the ward sister had explained the various pills I have to take and what I can and can not do I was allowed to go home. So I hobbled along after Stu got outside and immediately had a cigarette. Took ages for me to climb the stairs into the flat the first time but as the evening wore on I found them a lot easier. I'm not in that much pain though I can not sleep on my right side as that is where the op was done. Woke up this morning found it very easy to get out of bed and my movement seems a lot better. Sorry for boring you all with this more witty posts will resume soon.

Appologies..

2007-05-10T17:16:00.000+01:00

Sorry to my regular readers for not posting in a while, work has been pure bedlam and when I have got home my brain has been to fried to post anything, but anyway I'm back now for your delight and delectation. So what's new? Well tomorrow is D-Day otherwise known as goodbye hernia day, after 6 and a half months of waiting I am finally getting my operation tomorrow. Am I nervous? I admit I am a tad, what worries me mostly though is having to take my body piercings out. Hopefully I wont have to. So wish me luck and I'll be back as soon as the anaesthetic has worn off.

Joke of the day

2007-04-25T19:13:00.000+01:00

A lorry driver breaks down on the M6 with a cargo of live monkeys on board, bound for Chester Zoo.
They need to be delivered by 9:00 am and the driver fears he will get the sack if they don't get there on time.
He decides to try and thumb a lift for his monkeys and eventually an Irish lorry driver pulls over.
"Where are you going ?" asks the Irish chap.
"Do us a favour mate and take these to Chester Zoo for me" says the driver, "and here's a hundred quid for your troubles."
"Happy days," says the Irish fella, and loads the monkeys onto his truck and gets on his way.
The lorry driver goes about trying to fix his truck and is there for a good few hours when he notices the Irish fella coming back down the motorway, still with all the chimps on board. Panicking, he flags him down again.
"What are you playing at," he fumes, "I told you to take them to Chester Zoo!"
"I did," says the Irish fella, "but there's still fifty quid left so now we're going to Alton Towers."

Oh shit!!

2007-04-22T18:59:00.000+01:00

The boiler has gone up the swanny and we have no sodding hot water!! Now neither Stu or I are technically minded when it comes to repairing things and the hit it and swear at it options have exhausted themselves. So it looks like we are going to have to pay an extortionate fee to get the sodding thing repaired. This is all we need at this time of the year as the balance of our holiday has to be paid in a few weeks and that is close to £500 and its about this time that I start putting money aside for beer and food while we are on holiday. All I can say is thank god for my over draft even though I have not had to use it for nearly 2 years.

Joke of the day..

2007-04-21T13:40:00.000+01:00

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten
roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records
and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was
replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a
different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was
performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency
report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favorite rooster
was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too, but on this
particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run
for cover, but to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his
beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and
walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in
the Boone County Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among
the judges. The result...

The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they
also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Butch was a
politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out
how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by
being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when
they weren't paying attention.

At last...

2007-04-18T12:08:00.000+01:00

Now yesterday I was sat here before going to work thinking (a dangerous pastime for me I know) bout my hernia operation as it is almost 5 months since I saw the surgeon so surely I should be getting a letter in the post giving me some idea of the date for the op. So I decided to look for the paperwork so I could get the phone number for the surgeons office, while I was searching for this paperwork what do I find but my missing lapel badges that had gone into the abyss a few weeks ago. Needless to say this cheered me up but could I find the paperwork for my op? Thats right you guessed it that now to has gone into another abyss somewhere to be lost for all eternity until I start to look for something else I have misplaced.

Anyway I got to work yesterday afternoon (I'm on the 2pm -10pm shift this week) and as everything was under control I looked up the phone number of the hospital and gave them a ring (from my mobile phone). I explained the situation about how long it had been and misplacing the paperwork and they were very helpful and put me through to the surgeons secretary to whom I explained the situation again to. So she looked up my records on file to tell me that my op hadn't even been scheduled. She then went on to explain that in the past she was responsible for scheduling all her surgeons operations for his patients but now thanks to government interferring the scheduling of operations has now been outsourced to India and that now and again people fall through the net. She was extrememly appologetic looked immediately through the surgeons diary and gave me a date of May 11th for my operation. So at last I am getting my hernia repaired because even though it is not giving me a lot of pain there are still days when I am in a lot of discomfort with it and if it moves any further south I will have a right testicle that looks elephantine (calm down at the back ladies please).

I am still at a loss as to why these NHS trusts are out sourcing these jobs to India to save money, my operation isn't life threatening, but what if you were waiting for more serious surgery and this was being scheduled from India and you slipped through the net, unless you had made the call like I did you would never know and still be waiting for an operation that wouldn't be happening for quite a while until you had made that phone call.

Basking in the Sun

2007-04-15T14:01:00.000+01:00

Ok so it's mid April usually we are cowering from the rain, but no we are in the middle of unseasonably warm weather. It is currently about 26 degrees celsius out there people are out in shorts and t-shirts, convertable cars have their roof's down and life is generally great. Long may it continue is what I say because when the weather is like this I am in extrememly high spirits. According to met office the long range forecast for the summer is predicting temps of 38 degrees C now that is a bit extreme for the UK because the humidity that comes with it is stifling, the low 30's will suit me fine. So all you UK readers enjoy the sun and don't forget the sun block.

Apparently

2007-04-11T15:03:00.000+01:00

Now while having a trawl through my regular blogs that I read I stumbled across this on Nicoles blog a useful/useless little tool to discover what useless holiday/day your birthday is so I gave it a go and as you can see July 11th is National cheer up the lonely day. What the f**k is that all about hey? Do you have to go up to people in the street randomly and say excuse me are you lonely? If they answer in the affirmative then you have to reply Well today is your lucky day beacause I am here to cheer you up. Somehow I think there will be a lot of people thumping the person asking the question in the face.

More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com

Well....

2007-04-02T12:39:00.000+01:00

Well what can I say? So far I am very impressed with yesterdays purchase. Once I got to grips with setting it up, I had a go on Virtua Tennis 3 which I thought I would really struggle with but it is very easy to play, then Stu spent the rest of the evening playing Resistance - The Fall Of Man which looks very good but shoot em up games are not my cup of tea. Then we watched the first episode of Dr Who which was also very good.

What have I done Part 3

2007-04-01T17:37:00.000+01:00

Not content with having a Nintendo Wii, today we (Stu and I) decided to go and purchase a Playstation 3, this wasn't a rash decision because at £425 just for the console alone it is a lot of money and the games are not cheap either at between £39.99 and £49.99. So far it is set up and the initial set up has been done but as we are watching a football match we will wait until that has finished before we try a game

What day is it?

2007-03-29T12:28:00.000+01:00

For the last 2 days I have been working the 2pm-10pm shift at work, this is a shift I particularly dislike because it means I hardly get to see Stu at all as I do not get home from work until 10.40pm and because he is often up early for work he heads off to be bed shortly afterwards. So for the last 2 days we have been like ships that pass in the night. Oh well only today to go then tomorrow I have the more humane 10am-6pm shift then I have four days off. I can't bloody wait.

Taking the plunge.

2007-03-25T22:32:00.000+01:00

Today I took the plunge and upgrade to Windows Vista, after a few minor issues I got it up and running ok. So far I am impressed with it, then again I have not tested all my programmes.